5 Ways to Advocate For Mom During A NICU Visit
5 Ways to Advocate For Mom In The NICU
As the parent of a child in the NICU, you know that feeling of powerlessness all too well. Faced with a challenging and often overwhelming medical system, it can feel like your voice and needs are unheard. But here’s the thing – you are the expert on your child and you have the power to advocate for yourself and your newborn.
Here are five strategies to help you do just that. You are allowed to take an active and assertive role in your baby’s stay in the NICU. With these steps and a little bravery, you can become an advocate for your newborn – and for yourself.
Use Your Voice
The medical team in the NICU has a necessary “priority” care of your baby. Oftentimes (and unintentionally), parents feel “left out” of the NICU stay and can feel a break in the initial bonding. This can feel like a loss of control and can be traumatizing for parents.
From a former NICU nurse, know that your voice is valid. There are times when caring for baby trumps parental needs + desires, but we sometimes just need kind reminders that you would like to be involved, you would love to hold or do kangaroo care, or you are a pumping mom who desperately needs water. Small asks that are sometimes lost in the shuffle of caring for your baby.
Ask Your NICU If They Use Primary Nurses
If you had a great experience with a specific nurse, there are often opportunities to build a team of nurses that can be your primary nurse and you can depend on them to care for your baby when they are working and able to take the assignment. It doesn’t always work out because of various staffing reasons, but this can provide you and your baby some consistency and familiarity in this foreign space.
GO HOME. YES, I MEAN IT!
I know this one sounds crazy, but we do want you to go home, take a deep breath, take a hot shower, eat a full meal, and take a break from the constant beeping and shuffle of this space. You’re allowed to protect yourself too.
I often heard that moms were scared to leave in fear of judgment. There is a fine balance, mama. Come and advocate and snuggle and be mama, but also, allow yourself the grace to be human. You don’t have to keep on top of everything going on, that’s what hospital staff is there for. Taking care of yourself and implementing bite-sized self-care will have a ripple effect on your whole family.
Learn about the benefits of sleep in motherhood and check out our guide to restful sleep found here.
Be A Part of the Team
It is not uncommon in the NICU setting that a parent is the first one to notice something happening with baby. You know your baby best. Make observations and speak up if you notice something different from one visit to another. It’s OK to share your opinion with the doctor.
The medical team does thorough and detailed hand-off to one another, but this doesn’t mean things cannot be missed. New rash? Different sounding cough? Something subtly “off”? It may be nothing, but your observations are valuable. View yourself as an extension of the team.
Find Community Among NICU Mamas And Peer Support
One of your best tools for your NICU mama toolkit is going to be a community. People who have been in your shoes or who are walking alongside you as a current NICU parent. Former NICU parents can have valuable insight into things that can be really overwhelming when you are navigating the fog of the hospital. Insurance questions. Home health. Expectations. They are going to be such a valuable piece of support in this season. (Ahem, The Matrescence is a safe space for NICU mamas). Learn more about our community here.
Navigating the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) can be an overwhelming and daunting experience for families. It can be difficult to know how to advocate for your baby’s needs when faced with such a complex medical setting. With the right tools and support, you can make sure your baby is receiving the best care possible in the NICU setting while also taking care of yourself.
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Lauren Hays, PMHNP
Lauren was a licensed and trained registered nurse in the NICU and has since made a career shift to focus on mental health. Lauren is now a board certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, focusing on women’s health and wellness. She is a mom of three precious little men who has turned her pain into passion.
